2020 has been such a weird year. With family, friends, love ones but also with my journey through healthcare and self love. I spent 2019 mostly travelling and visiting my home country. It almost felt like a much needed separation from the life and person I have become, living in London.
In some ways 2019 felt like I was back finding my feet and rediscovering myself all over again. That at the end of 2019, I was looking forward to 2020 with hope of in some ways "getting things back on track". Which looking back now, I didn't really understand what it meant and how easily I took small steps and small achievements, even big ones for granted. I spent the early parts of 2020 before the pandemic spending it with family and extended family and in hindsight it was probably the most rewarding time I've had throughout the year. My journey with self love really did begin when the pandemic hit and I was faced with the struggle to stay strong and juggle mental health with everything uncontrollable that came with this pandemic. While a tough journey, I believe I came out stronger; rediscovering old hobbies and learning to love my identity that I tried so hard to strip away as an Asian woman. Seeing protests, hate crimes and even worrying about mine and my families own safety really put into perspective how much I had tried in the early years to rid myself of but also how much I really had to be proud of. Most importantly, how unapologetic I should be about my own culture and heritage. " I found that small wins, small projects, small differences, often make huge differences"
- Rosabeth Moss Kanter
Throughout 2020, and as cliche as this may sound, what little time I had spent outside during picnics or even occasional trips to IKEA, have all been nothing but rewarding and precious to me. It was a lot of fun and it showed me how sometimes taking the smallest steps can be just as fulfilling as completing a major life goal.
Right now, I am ever so thankful for the wonderful support system I have, parents, friends and loved ones. All of whom have been so encouraging, so supportive and so understanding. While I don't know what this year is going to bring, I do know that with a little bit of effort, I won't forget the things I learned in 2020.